tears on my pillow

Tears on my pillow.. Malaysia might not happen:( yeah..i found out today that i need a visa after all and i'm not sure if i can get one in time. when i phoned the Malaysian Consulate earlier, they told me that because i was only staying in Penang for three months, and then leaving to go to another country(our outreach), i wouldn't need a visa. Visas are only required for stays longer then 3 months, but Because my ticket is round trip, it shows that I'm gone for six months...so the airline will think i'm in Malayisa for 6 instead of three and will ask for a student visa. The thing with applying for a student visa is that they need a letter from your school as proof that your acually here as a student...this is a problem because my school is a christian school and Malaysia is a Muslim country. They might not let me in if they know that I'm coming to go to a missions school. And even if I explained to them that I'm leaving three months in, they need proof(a ticket) which we don't have yet because we don't even know where we are going. It is sooo late and I have spent the whole night on the phone crying with my aunt. The only other option I have is to book a round trip flight from Penang to Sinapore or Thailand for a date three months in, and show the airline that as proof that i'm leaving the country after 3 months. This is expensive, for something that I'm not even going to use. And I cannot be certain that i can refund the ticket later:( Ooooo my head hurts...it's all so much to take in. It is really hard for me, seeing as i worked my butt off this past year at two jobs(12 hour days) saving up for this...just to be let down in the end. My mom says that if it doesn't work out and I cannot get a visa or the ticket thing doesn't work out, i should still go and do the first part(three months training) then come home. I will do this, seeing as my ticket is non refundable and that would be a major waste of hard earned cash. It just really sucks, because the whole point of the training is to go on the outreach part after! It would be hard to develope relationships with these people and grow close to them, and then have to leave them. it is really late... i should go to bed.